Diary of a new Mum

A morning in my life…….

Wake up at 6am. This is a time of day generally considered night time by most sane people before they become parents. Once you are a parent, 6am is very much late morning. So, a baby who ‘sleeps through the night’ does this from 11pm to 6am. My baby, being only 10 weeks, is far from sleeping through the night. He is still in the ‘wake up once, or even twice’ stage. This is completely to be expected but that doesn’t stop it being truly terrible. All mothers know this.

As he’s probably not even that hungry given that I fed him at 2am and 4am and now it’s 6am, he’s dozing. So am I. This lasts for about 45 minutes. Then child senior awakes. I am greeted with her standard morning call at the top of her voice.

“I WANT MY PEOPLE!!!”

We are unsure as to why she shouts this other than she clearly views us as a sort of entourage there to fulfil every whim.

“OK”. I shout down. “I am coming”

I am not really. I am fobbing her off. I am still in bed. There is quiet for a couple of minutes.

“I WANT my people.”  This time a bit more whingey. Ignore her.

Prop baby up on the pillows and hope he’s had enough milk to keep quiet for a bit. Jump in the shower. Blissful 10 minutes in the bathroom on my own with the door closed. Wash, brush hair, mascara, go!

Get dressed while shouting some more pacifiers down to the noisy one. Hear a disturbing bottom noise from baby. Change baby’s nappy. And clothes. Get the Vanish stick out and clean baby’s clothes. Noisy Lauren can no longer be pacified. Run downstairs and get her.  All 300(ish) Jelly Cat toys have been thrown out of her bed along with her onesie and nappy.

“I’m a naked child” she bellows. Then “I want my OTHER people.”

“Daddy’s gone to work already” I tell her.

“Oh” she says sadly. “Where’s Hay-meee? I want Haymeeee”.

So up we go. I attempt to start feeding Hamish again. While Lauren decides all she wants to do is cuddle and kiss her little brother and cannot be distracted in to doing anything else.  Hamish not too keen on being bearhugged whilst having his breakfast.

Leave Hamish on bed and take Lauren downstairs for breakfast.

“Hot or cold milk, Lauren?”

“Warm”

“Rice Pops or Cinnamons?”

“Weetabix”

“Do you want banana on top?”

“Yes but only in circles”.

For goodness sake.

Finally fulfil demands and sit her down to eat. Get my breakfast. Eat it whilst unloading the washing machine, hanging clothes onto clotheshorse and shouting to Lauren I’ll be through in a minute.

Hear the key in the door. Thank goodness for that. Tama has arrived to take over childcare.

Kiss children goodbye. Feel a little sad to leave (WHY?!!!), leave, feel quite a lot of relief (rational) and hurry to tube hoping to get a seat so I can have a little rest before work.

Next time someone tells me I am mad to be back at work so early, I shall direct them to this post.

Trotters plane, now boarding!

As well as going to work, one of my other major tactics in staying sane is spending as little time as possible in the house to prevent the ‘bomb gone off’ look otherwise achieved by the end of the day spent at home.  So here are the three of us enjoying an afternoon out at Lauren’s favourite store in Westfield! (Although Accessorise came a close second this time due to the fascinating fascinators which had to be tried on in turn!)

Trying out a few fascinators …

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